Sunday, 30 September 2012
Secrets of unforgettable sex
At a couples’ meeting recently, one common reason, whether for pretense or for real, women adduced for not wanting sex is stress. They complained that they are often stressed after a busy day. Hence, the last thing on their mind is sex. Of course, their husbands didn’t fancy such an excuse because naturally, the first thing on his mind when coming back from work is good sex, and then food. Only in few instances will food be the first thing before sex. Thus, it becomes necessary for me to try and find a way around stress so as to help couples enjoy good sex, despite the challenges of daily activities.
With the libido-dampening effects of excessive stress, sex, sometimes, goes by the wayside. Starting with outside the bedroom and moving in, here are some quick tips on how to get yourself in the mood when stressed, so you can enjoy the benefits of sex.
You will definitely find the piece below helpful if you are constantly feeling stressed, thus limiting your sexual prowess in the home. This was culled from the internet with some modifications. Enjoy it.
•Eat a Healthy Diet. What you put into your body can make you feel energized and light, or sluggish and stressed. A healthy, balanced diet with plenty of vegetables, protein and whole foods can actually reduce your stress level, increase your energy, and help your body look and feel better. This will go a long way toward getting you in the mood. Before you start complaining about fund, balanced diet does not cost a fortune, but skills and will power. If you can balance your skill, will power and ideas, then balanced diet will be regularly yours. Educate yourself more by reading health and nutritional magazines and journals.
•Exercise. You may think you’re too busy or tired to exercise, but it can actually give you more energy, and even 20 minutes three times a week can make a difference in your energy level and overall health. You can do some pilates while you watch T.V., or skip the television altogether and go for a walk. Either way, your body will feel more energized, you’ll have more positive hormones flowing in your blood, and you’ll be happier with your body. These are definite turn-ons for great sex.
•Reduce Obligations In Your Life. If you get organised, prioritise only important commitments in your life and say no to other activities that take up your time, you can reduce the overall level of stress you experience in your life, and you’ll have more energy on your hands and will be less stressed. The time spent on gist, holy and unholy gossips, arguments, among other things, can actually free some of your time for other marital obligations. This all contributes to a healthy libido.
•Find Help. I don’t necessarily mean therapy, but if you can hire people to do things that take up time and energy in your life, like cleaning your house and doing busywork, you’ll also have less to stress about. It might be more expensive in the short run, but you’ll most likely be more productive in the long run, which will offset the cost, and you can spend your time on the things in you enjoy life, like sex! A clue can be got from Eastern Nigerians who get helping hands at a cheaper cost; they bring in kinsmen as apprentices, to be settled later in business, in return for other personal home services. However, if you are from the west, be cautious about this in order to avoid family crisis.
•Get Enough Sleep. Sleep deprivation can wreak havoc on your entire system and make you feel more stressed. If you can’t get enough sleep at night, you might try a power nap to achieve some of the same benefits. This could help you have more energy for nighttime activities. Reducing hours spent on home video series and cable can free more time for enough sleep in this regard.
•Use Stress Relievers. If you have a regular practice of one or a few stress-relieving activities like meditation or yoga, you can reduce the stress and tension you feel in your body and mind throughout the day. At the couples meeting mentioned earlier, a husband was recommending a stress relief medication introduced to him by a medical doctor. Discussing with your doctor may also offer you a healthy medication for stress. A word of caution, however, is that you should avoid becoming addicted to such medications. Having some of the weight of tension lifted, you’ll feel freer and more able to express yourself sexually.
•Have A Good Laugh. It’s often said that laughter is the shortest distance between two people. Laughter is also an excellent stress reliever and delivers great benefits to your body and soul. Try to unwind with a funny television show or book, or make it a point to share some laughs with the one you love. It may become the starter for a great sex experience for couples. One thing will definitely lead to another. Do I hear you say “Yes o o o?”
•Get Connected. Sometimes, when we’re stressed and busy (especially after a new baby or other major change), it can cause us to feel more detached in our relationships. If you make it a point to find time for emotionally nurturing conversations, you’ll feel more connected and most likely more amorous with your partner. Also, if you talk about what stresses you and get it off your chest, you won’t be burdened by the excess stress your problems bring, and you’ll feel closer to your partner. Unresolved relationship issues can lead to low libido.
•Set The Mood. Music, aromatherapy, and a soothing environment can all help set the tone for relaxation and romance. A little preparation can yield some great results!
•Start Slow. You might want to start by trading massages, which can really loosen you and your partner up and release pent-up tension while helping you feel more connected. Then see where things lead.
Some More Tips:
•It may take a while for “that loving feeling” to come back. Be patient with yourself, and let things progress naturally.
•Remember that romance, physical connection and even playfulness are also important in a relationship, and all help lead to a stronger sexual relationship. Conversely, sex in the context of a bad relationship (or no relationship) won’t necessarily make you feel better, and could actually create more stress. That’s not what I’m recommending! Unresolved issues will definitely create tension in the home, thus inhibiting the right sex mood.
•If you try these suggestions and still find yourself with a low libido, you may be suffering from an undiagnosed health problem or perhaps be dealing with some emotional “stuff” or relationship issues. Don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor or a couples’ counselor, who can help with these issues.
•Create time to help you achieve the above if you are serious about achieving your goal. You need time to make a success of the suggestions. So, do whatever you are going to do to get the amount of time you need to manage stress in your marriage